Published in MuddyUm·PinnedMember-only“You’re Next Dad”I was assured it was “just a joke” — My wife and three daughters returned home from the vet. They’d just picked up our dog without me. I had refused to go along. I had refused to take part in any of it. And once the front door opened I heard my eldest daughter shout, “You’re next Dad!” “That’s…Parenting3 min readParenting3 min read
Published in Frazzled·PinnedMember-onlyOne Child Identifies as a Dinosaur and a Neighborhood Loses Its Collective MindIt’s a Tyrannosaurus Wreck! — Apparently, we have a “dinosaur problem.” Kids all over our neighborhood, my daughter included, have taken to acting like Prehistoric creatures, and it’s causing a panic up and down the block. Most of us didn’t consider it that big a deal. But once his boys started acting like “crazy goddamn…Parenting5 min readParenting5 min read
Published in Plethora Of Pop·PinnedMember-onlyIt’s Time to Establish The V.O.P. SectionFor Very Old People Like Me — It happens all the time. An aging late 40 something rocker decides they’re gonna go check out that brand new band all “the kids” keep raving about. …Music3 min readMusic3 min read
Published in Plethora Of Pop·PinnedMember-only5 Songs that Make Me Beat the Crap Out of My Steering WheelI’m a steering wheel drummer. I’m one of the best in the business. If you pull up next to me at a stoplight you will see me working the wheel. You then have two choices, you can stare in horror or flash me some horns, it’s up to you. …Music2 min readMusic2 min read
Published in Frazzled·PinnedMember-onlyWhat Your Favorite Soccer Team Snack Might Say About YouNo judgments, just truth — Through five seasons of coaching 6U soccer, I haven’t won a single game. You can’t because they don’t keep score. You can, however, still have a successful season, and much of that hinges on after-game snacks. …Parenting6 min readParenting6 min read
Published in The Riff·6 days agoMember-onlyPop Stars Are Swearing Like “F@#king” SailorsHoly C*%k Ballz — Even Taylor Swift is starting to say, “You know what? F*$k it.” Gone are the days when young pop stars would work around profanity or find a clever way to say something without saying it. Britney‘s “If You Seek Amy” is a thing of the past. …Pop Music2 min readPop Music2 min read
Published in MuddyUm·Dec 22, 2022Member-onlyI Did Not Serve The Poo Poo PlatterExonerate me — There is only one bathroom at my local coffeeshop. It’s uni-sex and serves one customer at a time. Yesterday I walked into this bathroom and quickly realized something was wrong. An odor punched me in the nose and I began to gag. A previous occupant had dropped a dirty bomb…Bathroom Humor3 min readBathroom Humor3 min read
Published in Plethora Of Pop·Dec 19, 2022Member-onlyYour Imaginary “Friend” Up FrontA General Admission Dilemma — The doors to the venue opened three hours ago. All the people who wanted to be up near the stage had showed up at that time, if not earlier. That space belongs to them. They sat there for an hour while nothing happened. They cheered on the opening bands while…Concerts3 min readConcerts3 min read
Published in The Riff·Nov 27, 2022Member-onlyThe Missing Piece of the Set ListBands I love, Songs I’ve Never Heard Live — U2 “Bullet the Blue Sky” U2 has put on two of the best concerts I’ve ever seen. They’re so good live it’s almost ridiculous. But alas, I’ve never caught this 4th track off the “Joshua Tree.” The bootleg versions I’ve heard make me wish I had. Pearl Jam “Smile” Pearl Jam is known to play a vastly different…Music2 min readMusic2 min read
Published in The Riff·Oct 30, 2022Member-only90s Album Thread: Pavement “Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain” (1994)There’s a handful of Pavement albums I could point to, but “Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain” (1994) was my outright favorite. I still listen to it to this day, and I love it. In the 90s, this group caused division amongst my music-loving friends. It was even worse amongst the folks…Pavement2 min readPavement2 min read